"Struggle..."

Struggle


verb

    make forceful or violent efforts to get free of restraint or constriction. 


It seems to me I have always struggled. I am sure I am not unique in this, but this is my story.

All my life everything I wanted to do I struggled to try and get there and more often than not, even before I met T ..long before I struggled.

I struggled to fit in, I struggled to concentrate, I struggled in school(because it bored me immensely), and I rode a skateboard. I struggled to learn any tricks. I finished high school and I tried to get into college, I got into a bunch of schools but I struggled to find a way to pay for it so I didn’t go. I struggled to find a job I didn’t hate doing. I eventually went back to school...for marketing...yuck. I actually did really good in the course...but I hated it. I met a girl, we moved in and I struggled to be happy in life. I was happy with her...just not for the rest of my life. I have always felt held back..as hard as I tried I couldn’t make up any ground. I just struggled to get ahead. This past year I started therapy and I was doing really good, I thought I was making headway, and I thought the stuff was getting better between her and me. I guess not. Now I struggle just to make it through the day without breaking down...and I will struggle to rebuild myself.

I am so tired. I don’t want to struggle anymore.

R-



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