"Live with purpose..."

Still sick. but I am on the mend, I feel better than I did yesterday, so I will take that as a good sign.

I know I haven’t really been posting all that frequently, so I will touch on a couple things, but honestly, I haven't had anything to say because other than being sick all I have been doing is sorting my crap and packing my crap. It's kind of a rush job, with lots of boxes labeled like “Random shit I found on my bedside table”. I don’t really have the time to sort shit and say OK well you are going to belong in the box marked “Living room accessories” I am gone in just over a week so shit just needs to get roughly sorted and packed and I can figure out it all out on the other end. It just needs to be packed well enough for me to throw it in the back of a moving truck. I am leaving a lot of things behind, not that I don’t want them its more that I am trying to thin out my belongings. I want to live a life of purpose, of direction but also a life free of constraints...and while having all the toys is kind of fun, we get tied down by our possessions I couldn't just pick up and take off tomorrow, I have to deal with my stuff..as George Carlin said “I need a place for my stuff”(look it up online, funny shit). The place I am moving to isn’t going to be my home but my home base. Now there are certain possessions that I will not get rid of, like the antique rocking chair that belonged to my grandmother. This is the chair my grandmother sat in and rocked my mother in as a baby my mom is now in her 70s. It is the chair I would sit in as a child, put my feet on the end of the rockers, and rock it as hard as I can, partly to annoy my grandmother and partly because it was (and still is) super fun. There is a bunch of stuff I am bringing that I don't need or want that has value financially. Collectible figures still in packages, paintings I have finished and never marketed and tried to sell. It's all going to be sold now to help finance my trip.

Apparently this summer I am going to do an overnight hike with my friend Heather. We have known each other since grade 1 or 2 and she heard of my long-term plans for the Camino and training so we decided to do an overnight hike so I can test my tent and sleeping bag and she can test her camping hammock. It's nice to have a female friend where there is no pretense of it becoming something romantic.

So my last shift at my job was on Thursday and it was an emotional one, I am generally an outwardly emotional person so I cannot hide how I am feeling at all. I kept saying someone was going to make me cry and it really was a day of mixed emotions, to say the least. Obviously, I am not happy about why I am leaving, but at the same time, I was not happy there and had not been for a long time. So getting out, resetting the clock, and starting back at zero will be nice. I met a lot of really good people however and I will miss them after five and half years it was kind of hard not to bond with a few people. The first two hours of my shift I couldn't/t get any work done, every few minutes someone was stopping by my machine to wish me well/say goodbye. The lady who trained me for the first few days when I started with the company had a card for me with a $50 prepaid visa to help me out on my new adventure. Then as it was getting close to lunch, one of my co-workers asked me to come to the boardroom, So I walked into the boardroom and there was a bunch of food and a BIG cake. They had been planning a party since Monday for me...and it happened...I cried. I was so very touched, my co-worker O.G. said that “it's your last day it couldn't be just a normal day, we had to do something.” So we all sat and ate and laughed. I know I get along with pretty much everyone always have, but I didn’t know I left that much of an impression, I figured a few handshakes and a hug or two..but not all that. Then around 1am(shift is over 145am), people started showing up at my machine to say goodbye but they didn’t leave so by 1:20 there was a small group gathered around my machine...and I proceeded to say goodbye to everyone, more hugs, and more misty eyes. I had a really hard time saying goodbye to 3 people in particular. G.H. Thanks..very much, for the kind words and support when my dad passed away, all the deep conversations..just everything. Miss you, buddy. Thanks. O.G. I only knew you for a short time, but you were a pleasure to work with, and remember get confident and use your logic and you will do fine. DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF only a shitty teacher would teach you to doubt yourself, sure double check everything but there is a massive difference between double-checking your work and doubting your work. A.B. What can I say, my friend, when I first got to know you. I did not like you, not even a little. I am not sure when that changed, but it did. Do not get me wrong you still drive me nuts, but don’t change. You do you. Miss you, my brother.

To you all, if you're not happy in life...then change it, and search for your happiness no matter how scarey it is. Do not wait until you are 44 to search for your happy..you may never find it but it's about the journey, not the destination...BIG LOVE.

G.H. Make sure O.G. and A.B. see this, you are the only person that actually reads this shit besides me.

Society doesn't get to tell you how to be happy..follow your heart and find your passion. Live with purpose

R-