Jesus, where do I even start? Well, let us start with a dirty word....divorce. That is how my journey begins, divorce. I am not going to get into the specific details of it all out of respect for her, but I will give you the basic idea. 20 years ago I went to college, met a girl, fell in love, we moved in together and for 20 years my bipolar self sabotaged the relationship..no it's not all my fault, we are both to blame. We were extremely co-dependent and both had unaddressed issues and just this year we both started addressing those issues. She started developing into her best self and I am proud of her, I hope she finds everything she needs in life and everything she wants..she deserves it all and more. I love you forever T. On the evening of December 30th, my world collapsed well at least I thought it did. She wanted to divorce and less than a week later I am doing OK, better than expected honestly. If I am honest with myself, it was a LONG time coming and I am OK ...
Yesterday was rough. Really down and blue, and still pretty depressed today as well. I just want my old life back. Do not get me wrong I am glad I had someplace to go and I can't thank my friend enough for giving me a place. ....but this is not my home, I want my home and my wife back. I miss her so much...I just want my life back.
So its February 3 rd , and moving day was Jan 31 st . It is all done, the worst of it is over, saying goodbye to the cats really sucked, but I am here and I am all moved in, now just to unpack. I think today will probably be a little light on the unpacking and such, I need to give my back a break. I need to go out and pick up as few random odds and ends and then I will probably just pick at the unpacking. I don’t really have much to add today, I am just too tired and sore and the last few days have been pretty uneventful other than actually physically moving. I need to take a couple of me days..and then I will come back and see what I have to say.
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